Post by [QVC]-Branmuffin on Dec 18, 2005 10:56:32 GMT -5
Here is the pirate story that i wrote for english earlier this year (tsuran, snerlin, cows, and alcaeus prolly remember it ;D)
here goes!
The Story of the Origin of Pirate-Speak
By William Sellars
As told by William Sellars
English 10, Block 1
Mr. Nance
Everybody knows that republicans rule the world, democrats take our money, and Asia doesn’t like us very much. There was once a time, however, in which pirates ruled the seas, plundered helpless people that couldn’t run fast enough with all their money on them, and blew up ships that were faster than theirs. But has anyone ever wondered how the surly gang of ruffians acquired their manner of speech?
The story of how the pirates gained their speech is one full of mystery. The first thing we must do to understand why is to ask “how?” in such a way that will show us if they spoke like Brits before they pillaged. Only then will we find the answer. On to the story!
On a stormy, slightly boring day in England, everyone was moping about as the British oft-times do. Suddenly, a blast was heard far off. All of a sudden, three giant, black iron balls came hurtling towards the coast! Everyone backed up a couple of steps and avoided injury. Then, out of the mist of the ocean, with a British flag waving atop it, came a massive pirate ship armed to the teeth with all manner of cannons, people, and guns. They quickly overtook the slow moving shoreline and commenced to bark orders to the Brits on the beach.
Those on the beach thought it frightening at first, but slowly began to laugh at the other Brits ordering them around by saying things like “Spit-spot! Out with your sterling my good lad!” and “Now, now old bean! Don’t force me to take drastic measures!” and so on. All the while, the pirates thought they were doing quite the spiffy job rounding all these people together to steal their money, completely oblivious to the roaring laughter coming out of each and every one of them.
Slowly, after a few hours of successful, uneventful, and struggle-free pillaging, the pirates started to notice something missing. There wasn’t any screaming, burning of hair pieces, or anything else they were accustomed to seeing in a random pillaging. They stopped for a moment to check if there was a large pile of bodies burning somewhere, only to find that every man, woman, child, and otherwise, were laughing! This appalled the pirates to the point of internal rupturing! They got so angry that, instead of telling off those brits like brits, started yelling things like “Yarrgh! Ye scurvy rats! ‘ant ye ever heard of FEAR?!?! I’ll keelhaul the lot of ya!” and various other randomly thought up surly pirate talk.
Hearing the angered voices of the pirates, but not quite knowing what they said, the landlubber brits stopped laughing and began cowering in fear of the newly spirited pirates. The pirates, seeing the effect of their surly dialogue, grouped together to figure out what they did. “Yarrgh, Steve, what do ye think we did?” said one pirate, “Not sure Jack, yarr. But whatever…” Suddenly, Steve realized how surly and non-british he sounded. Surprised, all of the pirates started trying out their new surly-speak voices on each other. “Yarrgh, Reg!”, “Yarrgh Jim!”, “Ahoy Steve! Captain on the bridge!” and so it continued until they finally decided to start on getting their newly called “booty” onto the ship.
Then, almost like getting a punch to the face, Steve felt the sudden urge to name the ship the Jolly Roger, change the flag to a skull and crossbones print, and scour the seas for more “booty.” “But cap’n, we ain’t got any chance against the royal navy!” said first-mate silver. “Hmm… yarr… then we’ll just have to pull our own fleet! Aye?!” “Aye, aye cap’n!”
So this, for all the purposes of the original author, is how pirates became so surly, how people came to fear them, and how everything else related to pirates began. All in the need for attention, fear of the higher-ups, and booty! Yarrrrgh!
ENJOY THE MOVIE!
here goes!
The Story of the Origin of Pirate-Speak
By William Sellars
As told by William Sellars
English 10, Block 1
Mr. Nance
Everybody knows that republicans rule the world, democrats take our money, and Asia doesn’t like us very much. There was once a time, however, in which pirates ruled the seas, plundered helpless people that couldn’t run fast enough with all their money on them, and blew up ships that were faster than theirs. But has anyone ever wondered how the surly gang of ruffians acquired their manner of speech?
The story of how the pirates gained their speech is one full of mystery. The first thing we must do to understand why is to ask “how?” in such a way that will show us if they spoke like Brits before they pillaged. Only then will we find the answer. On to the story!
On a stormy, slightly boring day in England, everyone was moping about as the British oft-times do. Suddenly, a blast was heard far off. All of a sudden, three giant, black iron balls came hurtling towards the coast! Everyone backed up a couple of steps and avoided injury. Then, out of the mist of the ocean, with a British flag waving atop it, came a massive pirate ship armed to the teeth with all manner of cannons, people, and guns. They quickly overtook the slow moving shoreline and commenced to bark orders to the Brits on the beach.
Those on the beach thought it frightening at first, but slowly began to laugh at the other Brits ordering them around by saying things like “Spit-spot! Out with your sterling my good lad!” and “Now, now old bean! Don’t force me to take drastic measures!” and so on. All the while, the pirates thought they were doing quite the spiffy job rounding all these people together to steal their money, completely oblivious to the roaring laughter coming out of each and every one of them.
Slowly, after a few hours of successful, uneventful, and struggle-free pillaging, the pirates started to notice something missing. There wasn’t any screaming, burning of hair pieces, or anything else they were accustomed to seeing in a random pillaging. They stopped for a moment to check if there was a large pile of bodies burning somewhere, only to find that every man, woman, child, and otherwise, were laughing! This appalled the pirates to the point of internal rupturing! They got so angry that, instead of telling off those brits like brits, started yelling things like “Yarrgh! Ye scurvy rats! ‘ant ye ever heard of FEAR?!?! I’ll keelhaul the lot of ya!” and various other randomly thought up surly pirate talk.
Hearing the angered voices of the pirates, but not quite knowing what they said, the landlubber brits stopped laughing and began cowering in fear of the newly spirited pirates. The pirates, seeing the effect of their surly dialogue, grouped together to figure out what they did. “Yarrgh, Steve, what do ye think we did?” said one pirate, “Not sure Jack, yarr. But whatever…” Suddenly, Steve realized how surly and non-british he sounded. Surprised, all of the pirates started trying out their new surly-speak voices on each other. “Yarrgh, Reg!”, “Yarrgh Jim!”, “Ahoy Steve! Captain on the bridge!” and so it continued until they finally decided to start on getting their newly called “booty” onto the ship.
Then, almost like getting a punch to the face, Steve felt the sudden urge to name the ship the Jolly Roger, change the flag to a skull and crossbones print, and scour the seas for more “booty.” “But cap’n, we ain’t got any chance against the royal navy!” said first-mate silver. “Hmm… yarr… then we’ll just have to pull our own fleet! Aye?!” “Aye, aye cap’n!”
So this, for all the purposes of the original author, is how pirates became so surly, how people came to fear them, and how everything else related to pirates began. All in the need for attention, fear of the higher-ups, and booty! Yarrrrgh!
ENJOY THE MOVIE!